Life came at me fast in the last couple weeks, so I’ve had to reboot some areas of my life. Some would call it going back to basics. Any technical support representative knows that a reboot is one of the first troubleshooting steps in any solution.
A major component of my reboot has been to take time away from work. A couple areas had been spiralling for some time, personally and professionally, and they finally started to feel beyond my control. I spoke to my doctor, who recommended I take some time away from work to get my life back on track. There are still lots of action items that require extensive follow-up and follow-through, so this break has been vital in keeping me going. My internal alarm bells are ringing quite loudly throughout each day, which isn’t distracting me at all. I’m not at work, but I’m still working on things.
As part of my reboot, I’m doing a cleanse of my fuel intake. The pharmaceuticals for AD(H)D, depression, and anxiety have left my system by now. I’m not even keen on drinking my fizzy sugar water anymore. I’ve been avoiding the sugar drinks for a couple days now, and it feels so nice to not have to ride the blood-sugar rollercoaster anymore. I used to “randomly” become tired throughout the evening, but now I’m just realizing that it’s the blood-sugar crashing from the release of insulin. I’ve also stopped drinking alcohol for roughly a month I think. I don’t remember the actual start date, though I did just have a few drinks this past weekend. It’s not a very strict or absolute cleanse, apparently. I didn’t have a surge of energy like so many people seem to experience, so I wonder if I just need to take a lot longer of a break from drinking. Alas, cleaning up my fuel system should help me work more efficiently through the reboot.
With the better weather, I’ve been on my bike a lot. The exercise, sun, and “fresh” air are a very welcome change after a dark winter. I’m starting to work out again, taking it slow so I don’t hurt myself as per usual. At the same time, my physiotherapist has returned from parental leave, so it’s nice to have my special someone to fix me up when I fall off track. We have a decent amount of history working together, and their adjustments always seem to hit the spot.
If you checked my website recently, you might have found that I’ve rebooted it as well. Longtime readers will recall that I’ve talked at length about my unfortunate childhood, but frankly speaking, I’m still very privileged, e.g., cis male, neurotypical, thin, able-bodied, light skinned, dual citizen, middle class. There were a few reasons to start over, but one of them that stood out above the others was that I felt embarrassed about writing about how hard I had it when many readers have it much worse. I think it’s okay to still process my feelings on the blog, but I just gotta stop throwing the pity party. To those that provided the feedback, thank you, both for your longsuffering and for making it known to me. I hope that this reboot honours your experiences. Social justice would then demand that I use my privilege to advocate for the liberation of all peoples, so I will start by not writing about my dad anymore. Even as a writer, I should just find some new material.
I said the word “reboot” a bunch of times. There have been a ton of changes in my environment, which has required me to also change a lot in response. I’m taking a short break from work and getting my health back in order by sharply reducing my alcohol and fizzy sugar water intake and by zipping around town on my ebike. Instead of whinging about my dad, I’m committing to using my sizeable privilege towards the liberation of all peoples by making memes.